Age and Feelings

I used to despise to get close with the guys below my age. You know, the guys who were born later than 1992.

But yeah, I got close with some of them. Getting to know what they think about stuffs, getting to know how they treat me (and how they treat girls in general), and here what I conclude:

There is nothing generalizable about feelings and age between two people. It is merely a sensation.

1. Getting close with someone above my age, even older less than a month:
HE OWNS ME.
I dig it. I feel like he dominates me. I feel like I can clung and he will get everything else done from me.
The way he asked to be pampered is rather cute, tho. Like an older brother holding his cry from fighting with the guys his age? Like that. It's like you want to pamper him while holding your laughs. Lol.

2. Getting close with someone below your age, even just a month younger:
LET ME SPOIL YOU.
It's like the opposite: I dominate him. I tell him things, ask him things loud and clear.
It's like you can't wait to pamper him everytime. You go 'sini sini mendekat' everytime you near him.
It's like when you walk, he walks near you protecting you like 'watch out she's kinda queen'. Oh Gosh 😂😂
And when you're upset over something suddenly he's there, thinking more mature than any older men you know. Surprising you.



See? Age is merely a sensation. It doesn't measure maturity.

Someone tell me 'you're the kind of women who will chase around young guys after you married.'

Oh no. I hate pampering guys with materialism. I hate chasing guys first and makin him chase me. I have too much of dignity. If I'm hot even aftee I hit 40 who knows they will hit on me?

And beside: I plan to be stricly monogamous after marriage.

Cheers!

5 cm

Barusan nonton 5 cm nih, boleh ngopi di laptop temen (hahahaha). Baca bukunya di tahun 2010-an (apa pas SMA ya, lupa, tp bacanya di smg sih) dan mulai dari jam 11 siang smp selesai jam 2 paginya.

Banyak yg bilang buku ini jelek bgt, ga banget, superduper overrated, ada juga yang mengelu2kan banget bagusnya, entah dia berpikir jernih atau gak.

Kalo soal buku dan filmnya sih, hmmm, saya di tengah2. Ada byk yg lebai, krg akurat, dan krg saya suka di buku dan film ini. Tp ga benci atau pgn menghujat juga, cuma mikir, 'ya elah bro begitu amat sih'.

Needless to say saya enjoy bgt sama ceritanya! Kl ga enjoy ga mungkin ntn filmnya sampe nangis dan baper -_- dan ga mungkin baca bukunya dr jam 11 siang smp jam 2 pagi ga mau kepotong tidur -_-

Yg saya suka:
1. Endingnya switch bgt. Ada poin yg ga ketebak gitu. Tp knp mesti harus jadian semua ya? Kayak anak TK main cewek2an aja ya..

2. Sinematografinya bagusss! Kekinian. Hahaha

3. Saya nangissss pas Riani jawab tembakannya Genta. Kerasa gitu kl ditembak sm temen sendiri jawabnya hrs gimana haha.

(no spoiler). Menurut saya sih kalo kita punya perasaan ke org, org itu hrs tau, meskipun dia tmn sendiri. Karena perasaan itu flattering (menyanjung). Masa perasaan mw dibawa mati sih...kan orang juga perlu tau bahwa ada org lain yg menganggap dirinya penting.

4. Pemerannya ganteng2 cantik2, tp masa daki gunung rambutnya ga dicepol/dikuncir gt sis?

5. Lirik lagunya Nidji yg ini nih yg waktu Riani jawab pas ditembak Genta, yg bikin nangis

'Alam sadarku, alam mimpiku,
Semua milikmu
Andai kau tau
Andai kau tau'

OMG knp aku udh hidup 20 thn tp lirik itu br ada skrg? Itu lirik yg sangat relatable buat yg lg jatuh cinta --"



Yg ga suka:
1. Ya banyakkk. Udh lupa bukunya dan ntn filmnya pun diskip2.

2. Lebai sih. Knp mereka doang yg orasi di puncak? Org2 lain cm jd extras? (ya emg sih)
Anak jmn sekarang sih kalo di puncak ya nongsis (oh iya 2002 blm ngetrend tongsis)

3. Indi terlalu cantik bule2 gt. Pemeran Riani dan Zafran pun bagi saya terlalu goodlooking krn di bukunya ga digambarkan sestunning itu. Tp yaudah, selain Indi, saya suka semua sih <3 p="">
4. Kenapa Ian ga jadi ke Manchester cm gara2 cinta Indonesia? Justru krn cinta hrs cari ilmu sebanyak2nya. Tp poinnya yg 'gue lahir di sini, nginjek tanahnya, minum airnya, masa iya gue ga berterima kasih' itu sih bagus bgt 💕.

Udah ah. Pingin nanjak lg tp blm ada sandal/sepatu krn kmrn rusak..hehe. Trs blm fix juga. Pingin Merbabu sm Prau nih. Sm pingin puncak2 unyu kayak Sikunir atau Pananjakan Bromo. Masa blm semua -_-

Cheers!

Happy Birthday!

My excitement about my new age stopped when I turn 17. Every birthday afterwards scares the hell out of me. (18, okelah. 19? 20? 21? Nooooo).

 

Yang paling nakutin adalah waktu ulang tahun ke-21. Man, 21, usia yang begitu dewasa. Udah bukan anak-anak lagi. Usia yang dilegalkan untuk minum alkohol di manapun di dunia, kecuali oleh islam.

Waktu 22, hmmmm biasa aja. Mau sedih juga gimana, waktu itu penelitian skripsi lagi lancar jaya, terus saya kabur liburan ke Bandung sama sekeluarga lengkap. Meski urusan keteteran (alhamdulillah clear waktu balik lagi) tapi happy bgt, banyak impian yang lancar dan kewujud di usia 22 :)

Sekarang, 23?
OMG it feels unreal.

Tidur saya gelisah malam itu. Saya berencana tidur cepat, tapi baru bisa tidur jam 11. 

Jam setengah 2 saya terbangun dan gelisah tak bisa tidur. Saya solat Isya' lalu solat Hajat. Untuk pertama kalinya saya menangis dan merasakan ulang tahun saya kali ini memang beda dengan tahun2 sebelumnya.

"Saya tahu Kau lebih tahu apa yang baik untuk saya, tapi ijinkan saya meminta..."


Intinya sih berdoa tentang koas dan harapan2 saya yang banyak sekali untuk tahun depan. Semoga dilancarkan. Gak sabar pingin kerja dan dapet duit nih.
 

Saya pingin bahagia. Saya nggak pingin kesepian. Karena itu, bahagiakanlah pula orang-orang di sekitar saya biar saya gak bahagia sendirian.

Yepp, 23. Saya tersadar kalo pilihan studi saya boros umur. Moga cepet kerja cepet ketemu jodoh, aminn.

Cheers!

Gesture

The way you point out that anything I said is merely the excuse to meet you.

The way we're always silent at night phone call and hardly know what to say.

The way you say 'iya?' after a long silence.

The way you're barely able to answer 'kangen ya?' and only make inaudible sound.

The way you ruined my effort to build sweet moments......

Consider my heart taken :)

Kenapa Rayna Dilahirin Caesar?

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. I haven't sent any birthday greetings to him and instead, I called my mom, crying my heart loud.

"Ma, mama masih inget waktu ngelahirin Mas Bayun?"

"Masih."

"Gimana ceritanya, Ma?"

"Ya, lancar kok, banyak yang nungguin. Ada dokter, bidan, suster, papa," she answered, "Ngelahirinnya gak sesakit yang Mama bayangin, padahal kepala Mas Bayun besar. Tapi beratnya ringan, cuma 2,8 kg.. Terus, Mama pikir Mama mau kok ngelahirin lagi..."

"Terus waktu ngelahirin Mas Hanief gimana?"

"Mama dibantu pembantunya bidan, soalnya bidannya masih tidur.. Mas Hanief dilahirinnya tengah malem sih.."

"Waktu ngelahirin Rayna, Ma? Rayna kok dilahirinnya caesar?"

Yes, I was born c-sectioned. That made me think that every normal birth is surgical, until when I was 7th grade I finally found out the truth.

"Dokternya yang bilang kalo Rayna harus dicaesar.."

"Kenapa, Ma? Rayna sungsang?"

"Gak, kata dokternya kalo normal bakalan lama.."

I didn't know why I cried.

Well, actually I know. My mom has been hurt so brutally for being herself, and she didn't get the chance to prove that she doesn't deserve such treatment. I cried because I can't protect her. I cried because I couldn't take her away from her pain.

I called both of my brothers, but the second older connected first. He confusedly and constantly asked "Kamu nangis kenapa, Na?"

I just answered, "Rayna kesel!"

I also told him that I missed my nephew, Reksa, so much that it hurts me.

It's difficult to have a family all grown up and all grown apart. You get scared that they wouldn't care about you the way it used to. Well, they will. They have a new family, a new life. But they sure as hell won't forget you, if you keep them not to.

And sometimes, it's okay to show your vulnerability so they know they could love you....


Cheers.

Diet Mayo

I planned to start 13 Days Mayo Diet by tomorrow. I already did my grocery shopping! :)

Here's why I'm confident that I'll go through the next 13 days diet just fine:
- I'm fine with skipping or having very little breakfast and or lunch (no it's not a good habit). I've been in a dental internship for four months now and that's keeping me from having a decent lunch, especially. Lol
 - I'm a 'living alone student'. I just eat what I bought. So maybe I'll just have very little distraction if I'm strict at what I buy..
- I enjoy afternoon sports as well, like aerobics, 2 hours treadmill and static bike on fitness center, jogging at UGM Student Quad, teehee :D


What scares me, though:
- The 13 Days Mayo Diet is probably Indonesian made. It's said that it's from Mayo Clinic of USA, but hey, they didn't say about the restriction nor the 13 days menu. If you think that this diet is clinical/scientific, you're wrong, nobody has found an English-Languaged journal about it...
- I love salty/savory menus more than the sweet ones! :(
- The restrictions from this diet, knowing that this diet is for detoxicating your body (and the weight loss is merely a bonus), are SALT (no salt whatsoever), processed SUGAR (I can live without it), and CARBO. I didn't find any carbo food on the menu.
 - Baked, smoked, olive-oil fried, or boiled chicken, egg, and meat is on the menu. But, because I love salty/savory food more than ever, I decided to exclude chicken and meat from it. I can't eat them without the decent spice, I can't have them tasteless :(

So I decided to have a boiled and raw vege, boiled egg, fruit, yoghurt (I planned to buy the plain yoghurt, it's 0.9 USD more expensive than the tasteful one, sigh), and greentea. I can't even have a whole wheat toast in it! :(

Well. My target is 5-8kgs reduced. I wonder how my body would look like if I weigh 42, or maybe 40 kgs. Lol. (I'm petite, 154cm/47.5 kg. My fat belly and thighs are annoying.)

The culinary traveling is off my plans for 13 days! Will update soon, wish me luck!