Rabu, 28 Januari 2015

Kenapa Rayna Dilahirin Caesar?

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. I haven't sent any birthday greetings to him and instead, I called my mom, crying my heart loud.

"Ma, mama masih inget waktu ngelahirin Mas Bayun?"


"Gimana ceritanya, Ma?"

"Ya, lancar kok, banyak yang nungguin. Ada dokter, bidan, suster, papa," she answered, "Ngelahirinnya gak sesakit yang Mama bayangin, padahal kepala Mas Bayun besar. Tapi beratnya ringan, cuma 2,8 kg.. Terus, Mama pikir Mama mau kok ngelahirin lagi..."

"Terus waktu ngelahirin Mas Hanief gimana?"

"Mama dibantu pembantunya bidan, soalnya bidannya masih tidur.. Mas Hanief dilahirinnya tengah malem sih.."

"Waktu ngelahirin Rayna, Ma? Rayna kok dilahirinnya caesar?"

Yes, I was born c-sectioned. That made me think that every normal birth is surgical, until when I was 7th grade I finally found out the truth.

"Dokternya yang bilang kalo Rayna harus dicaesar.."

"Kenapa, Ma? Rayna sungsang?"

"Gak, kata dokternya kalo normal bakalan lama.."

I didn't know why I cried.

Well, actually I know. My mom has been hurt so brutally for being herself, and she didn't get the chance to prove that she doesn't deserve such treatment. I cried because I can't protect her. I cried because I couldn't take her away from her pain.

I called both of my brothers, but the second older connected first. He confusedly and constantly asked "Kamu nangis kenapa, Na?"

I just answered, "Rayna kesel!"

I also told him that I missed my nephew, Reksa, so much that it hurts me.

It's difficult to have a family all grown up and all grown apart. You get scared that they wouldn't care about you the way it used to. Well, they will. They have a new family, a new life. But they sure as hell won't forget you, if you keep them not to.

And sometimes, it's okay to show your vulnerability so they know they could love you....


Senin, 19 Januari 2015

Diet Mayo

I planned to start 13 Days Mayo Diet by tomorrow. I already did my grocery shopping! :)

Here's why I'm confident that I'll go through the next 13 days diet just fine:
- I'm fine with skipping or having very little breakfast and or lunch (no it's not a good habit). I've been in a dental internship for four months now and that's keeping me from having a decent lunch, especially. Lol
 - I'm a 'living alone student'. I just eat what I bought. So maybe I'll just have very little distraction if I'm strict at what I buy..
- I enjoy afternoon sports as well, like aerobics, 2 hours treadmill and static bike on fitness center, jogging at UGM Student Quad, teehee :D

What scares me, though:
- The 13 Days Mayo Diet is probably Indonesian made. It's said that it's from Mayo Clinic of USA, but hey, they didn't say about the restriction nor the 13 days menu. If you think that this diet is clinical/scientific, you're wrong, nobody has found an English-Languaged journal about it...
- I love salty/savory menus more than the sweet ones! :(
- The restrictions from this diet, knowing that this diet is for detoxicating your body (and the weight loss is merely a bonus), are SALT (no salt whatsoever), processed SUGAR (I can live without it), and CARBO. I didn't find any carbo food on the menu.
 - Baked, smoked, olive-oil fried, or boiled chicken, egg, and meat is on the menu. But, because I love salty/savory food more than ever, I decided to exclude chicken and meat from it. I can't eat them without the decent spice, I can't have them tasteless :(

So I decided to have a boiled and raw vege, boiled egg, fruit, yoghurt (I planned to buy the plain yoghurt, it's 0.9 USD more expensive than the tasteful one, sigh), and greentea. I can't even have a whole wheat toast in it! :(

Well. My target is 5-8kgs reduced. I wonder how my body would look like if I weigh 42, or maybe 40 kgs. Lol. (I'm petite, 154cm/47.5 kg. My fat belly and thighs are annoying.)

The culinary traveling is off my plans for 13 days! Will update soon, wish me luck!